BLOG: PERSONAL

Despite the fact that I'm a performer (or maybe exactly because I am), I have never really wanted to be in the spotlights outside the stage. I never became a singer because I wanted to be famous; I became a singer because I could pour my heart and soul into singing, and because I love to create an illusion on stage.

I am blessed with the kind of friends I know I can always call, and who love to hear about my adventures. I have always enjoyed writing, so when I started preparing for our very first showcase almost three years ago, I starting writing a personal blog to keep everyone back home informed. I wrote about the hours I spent in dance studios, first on my own, and later with dancers and choreographers. I wrote about the band rehearsals in the middle of the winter without any heating. I wrote about all the bruises and blisters, about my insecurity, about my frustration, about all the things that were going on behind the scenes that people were not really supposed to know. I kept it hidden, so only people I know really well have ever read it.

At the same time, I started writing a blog for our website, describing how wonderful the whole adventure was and how well preparations were going. Don't get me wrong: this was all true too, but in these blogs I would always leave out a lot of things. I don't know whether it is because I'm not getting any younger, or because I have started writing my own songs again, or simply because I have been leading two different lives at the same time for so long now, but I feel like giving a more personal view by now. I have never written publicly about how exhausted I was at times, how my thrill (or attention) seeking cats love to join my home dance rehearsals, or about the hilarious conversations we had with band or crew members when Jerney and I did not know a certain word in English. I don't think I have ever written any details of rehearsals, other than that we were 'in rehearsals' or 'busy preparing'. I have re-read my old public blog posts, and I must admit they don't tell much of a story, and certainly not a personal one: I might as well have asked someone else to write them...

Lately, I have been going over the pros and cons of displaying more of myself. To me this is a huge thing. I have always been very protective of my private life, which is probably the reason I have been able to keep up with this almost dual life for so long. But on the other hand, I don't want to feel like I'm just playing a role every day. This is my life, and I am proud of it.

So here I am, in my little home dance studio (where my cats have joined me - as usual), typing this blog on my laptop while sitting on my Bosu-ball (my secret training weapon), mentally preparing for the first session for the upcoming tour with our choreographer Hester (Dreaming of Kate's secret weapon). I think I'll enjoy these last moments of silence...

Love, Maaike

1 comment

  • Steph Baker

    Steph Baker Wirral, Merseyside England

    Loved blog. Just be yourself, live your life to suit you, be yourself and you cant go wrong. Loved how you didn't speak during performance, it does create a magical atmosphere. I live near Chester but unfortunately will be on holiday in Wales on 4th Sept so will miss your gig. We are coming back the day we see you in Liverpool. Cant wait especially as we have front row seats. Good luck (you don't need it) Enjoy your rehearsals and all your Concerts

    Loved blog. Just be yourself, live your life to suit you, be yourself and you cant go wrong. Loved how you didn't speak during performance, it does create a magical atmosphere. I live near Chester but unfortunately will be on holiday in Wales on 4th Sept so will miss your gig. We are coming back the day we see you in Liverpool. Cant wait especially as we have front row seats. Good luck (you don't need it) Enjoy your rehearsals and all your Concerts

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